


A Second Chance

by AdoreAdore54



Series: The Adventures of James Buchanan Barnes and his Deserumed Boyfriend [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: De-Serumed Steve Rogers, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Smut, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 08:30:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14468844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdoreAdore54/pseuds/AdoreAdore54
Summary: For the past year Bucky has woken next to Steve’s hard expanse of muscles and long limbs.Today, Bucky wakes to the feeling of a thin body pressed against his chest.A sort-of sequel to 'The Way We Used to Be'.It's the morning after Steve was exposed to a gas that reversed the effects of the serum. What better way to spend it than in bed with Bucky?





	A Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sort-of smutty sort-of sequel to my de-serumed Steve fic: _The Way We Used to Be_ (although it can be read as a stand-alone).
> 
>  **Trigger Warning** : Bucky has a slight panic attack at the start of this fic.

For the past year Bucky has either woken next to Steve’s hard expanse of muscles and long limbs or, when one of them is away on a mission, to an empty bed.

Today, Bucky wakes to the feeling of a thin body pressed to his chest and freezes, his mind jumping straight to panic at the unfamiliar situation.

Pulling away from the body next to him and sitting up slowly, he looks around the room – his and Steve’s room, _okay that’s good_ \- and down at the bed – the one he shares with Steve – before focussing his attention on the still sleeping form beside him.

Steve.

 _It’s just Steve_ , he tells himself, _The same man you’ve woken up with for the past year. He just looks like he did when you woke up next to him seventy years ago. It’s Steve. Steve is safe_.

He takes in a deep breath as he tries to tamp down the anxious feeling in his stomach, reminding himself of yesterday’s events. The gas that had reversed Steve’s serum. The fact that Steve was otherwise unharmed. The ‘cure’ currently being developed by Bruce and his medical team.

Bucky looks around the room again, cataloguing various items, the way his therapist told him to when he’s trying to calm and ground himself. Steve’s shirt hanging haphazardly on the back of a chair where it’s been for days because Bucky stopped trying to tidy up after him months ago. The ‘vintage’ radio on their dresser that had originally been a joke gift from Tony but which quickly became one of their most treasured objects. The pictures pinned to the wall – most of which are of him and Steve, some containing their friends. 

He goes through their names as his eyes pass over the images. _Natasha, Sam, Clint…_

He feels himself start to relax a little and takes some deep breaths. _It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re home. You know who you are._

He gives himself a good few minutes to continue breathing deeply and then, when the anxious feeling has mostly gone, he turns again to Steve.

This time, instead of panic at the unfamiliar figure next to him, he feels the same warmth he had done yesterday when he’d seen Steve without the serum for the first time in seventy years. Because the man next to him isn't unfamiliar. He’s as familiar to Bucky like this as he is when he’s twice the size, like he would be no matter what he looked like. He’s his Steve. The one constant in his life. The man who means the world to him.

Bucky can’t help but note how slight Steve looks like this. More so now Bucky had seen him with the serum than he’d looked before he’d ever had it, the contrast between the two making Steve’s current small stature all the more pronounced.

Steve’s square jaw is replaced by prominent cheekbones and a small chin; his broad shoulders now sharp and angular; everywhere Bucky looks he can see bones and he can’t help but think about how _fragile_ Steve seems like this.

Steve shuffles and turns as he wakes, opening his eyes to see Bucky staring down at him. There’s barely a beat and then – 

“Are you watching me sleep?”

Bucky laughs as the peaceful delicate image of a sleeping Steve is shattered.

“I dunno how you manage to form sentences seconds after waking up. It’s unnerving.”

“Yeah, well, some of us don’t need as much beauty sleep as you,” Steve replies as he shifts to sit up and glances at the clock beside the bed. “Why’re you awake already anyway? Everything alright?”

“Yeah, it just took me a moment to remember what happened yesterday.” He gestures to Steve, whose expression turns worried as he looks back at him.

“Oh, Buck, are you okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I am. I managed to calm myself down.” Bucky smiles. There was a time, not too long ago, when waking up and not knowing immediately where he was would have left him grabbing a knife and heading straight for the nearest exit, or dissolving into an anxiety attack so intense it affected him all day. He’s proud that he’d managed to handle it this morning. He knows he’s still got a way to go, that recovering is something he’ll be working on for a very long time, but he allows himself to feel pleased at how far he’s come.

“I’m proud of you, Buck; you’re doing so good.”

Steve reaches a hand over laces their fingers together. Bucky squeezes Steve’s hand before spreading his fingers out and pressing them against Steve's so they're palm to palm. Steve’s fingers only reach Bucky’s middle knuckles.

“This is weird.”

“You’re telling me,” Steve laughs. “I think you’re gonna have to get stuff off the shelves for me.”

Bucky snorts and reaches to push Steve’s hair back off his face. “It’s like being back in the ‘30s,” he murmurs, “I’m half expecting to walk out the door and across the road to Thomas’s greengrocers.”

Steve laughs. “I always thought that dog of his was gonna eat me when I walked past.”

“Nah, she was a softie really. Her bark was worse than her bite. Bit like someone else right now.”

Steve shoves at him. “I know you’ve not forgotten just how hard I can bite when I’m like this.”

Bucky grins and shoves Steve back, hard enough to push him onto his back and, in one swift movement, straddles his hips and pins his arms above his head, holding them in one hand.

“You sure about that?” he gives Steve a smug look, “C’mon, I’m not even using my left arm.”

To his credit, Steve doesn’t even try to struggle, just gives Bucky a look that says he’ll pay for this later – and Bucky hopes he does – and calls him a jerk.

“Christ, Buck, you’re heavy!”

“I’m the same weight as yesterday morning, doll, you’re just weaker,” Bucky retorts, but rolls off Steve anyway. 

“Doll? You’ve not called me that in years.”

“Really?” Bucky pauses to think about that. The term had come so easily to him just then, but when he tries to remember the last time he used it to refer to Steve, the only times he can bring to mind are before the war.

“Huh,” he turns to look at Steve as he tries to recall why that is. “I guess it didn’t seem to fit after the serum. Thought you might not wanna be reminded of when you were small.”

Steve frowns as he studies Bucky’s face, though his expression seems more confused than offended. Then, in a quiet voice, he responds. 

“I’ll always be your doll, Buck. Doesn’t matter how big I am.”

Bucky doesn’t miss the possessive pronoun. “Yeah?”

“Yeah, I miss you callin’ me that.”

Steve’s words send a pleasant warmth through Bucky. He likes that - likes that Steve’s always gonna be _his_ no matter what decade they’re in, or what size they are. Some things don’t need to change.

He leans closer to Steve and speaks in the deep quiet voice he knows the other man’s never been able to resist. “Well I guess I’d better remember to call you it then, doll.”

Steve’s reaction is instant. The slight shift as he turns his gaze to Bucky’s lips, his tongue darting out to wet his own, and the slight flush that reaches his cheeks. And when Bucky presses his lips to the other man’s, Steve wastes no time in deepening the kiss, rolling on top of the brunet and pushing one of his legs between Bucky’s.

Bucky wasn’t expecting such a passionate reaction from the blond, but, hell, he certainly ain’t complaining.

He catches up with Steve’s fire quickly and brings his hands to grab at his ass, smaller than the last time they did this, with less muscle and more bone, but just as delicious.  
His hands don’t rest there for long, though, desperate to get reacquainted with this version of Steve’s body. He runs his fingers up Steve’s back, easily able to feel his spine through his T-shirt, and down his arms, marvelling in how familiar and yet foreign his body feels – like when he catches a scent on a breeze that reminds him of a pleasant memory he can’t quite place.

Steve breaks their kiss to hiss in a breath. “Shit, Buck, feels so sensitive.”

Bucky loosens his grip on Steve’s arms. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. My skin just feels real sensitive. Like everything tickles more than it should.”

Bucky supposes that makes sense – the serum providing a higher pain threshold, decreased sensitivity to pressure on the skin - after all, what’s the use in a good soldier if they go down in pain after one hit? He wonders if he feels things differently now than he used to. He can’t remember. Before he can go too far down that line of thinking, he’s distracted by Steve pressing kisses to his neck and jaw.

“You don’t have to stop,” he says in Bucky’s ear, “just gonna take some getting used to.”

Bucky’s more than happy to take Steve at his word and resumes his exploration of his body. He pushes the bottom of Steve’s T-shirt up so he can run his fingers across his hipbones, enjoying the little jolts and gasps Steve makes when he gently grazes his cool metal fingers against the sensitive area between his hips and his stomach.

When he starts to push Steve’s top further up, the other man pulls back from where he’s been kissing marks into Bucky’s neck and wraps his fingers around Bucky’s right wrist.

Bucky freezes immediately. “You okay?”

“Yeah, just… You remember what I looked like before the serum, right?”

Bucky nods and feels a pang in his chest when he realises why Steve’s stopped him.

“I remember, Stevie. I remember how gorgeous you were, how much I wanted you. Even when loving each other meant we risked getting locked up, or worse, I remember not being able to keep my hands off you.”

Steve smiles down at him. “Yeah, I guess you’ve never been good at keeping it in your pants. You nearly got caught with your hand down my pants once at the movies.”

Bucky snorts, he remembers that. Although, if his memory serves him correctly, and he think it does in this case, Steve was the one to put Bucky’s hand on the growing bulge in his pants first, so Bucky wasn’t entirely to blame.

“So why would it be any different now? Christ, Steve, only thing stopping me jumping you when you walked in looking like you’d walked straight outta the past yesterday was the fact that we weren’t alone.”

Steve looks down at Bucky’s words, his long eyelashes casting shadows over his flushed cheeks, and Bucky reaches up and cups Steve’s face in his hands.

“I love your body like this, just like I love your body with the serum. Hell, I don’t think I could ever not love your body because it’s _you_ Steve. I’ll always want you, doll.”  
Bucky hopes he’s got the message across, that Steve will get it through his stubborn brain that Bucky really does mean every word.

And then Steve’s kissing him again, like his life depends on it, and Bucky sighs in relief. He doesn’t try to push Steve’s top up again, waits until the other man is ready, but it doesn’t take long before Steve is pulling it up and over his head and yanking at the bottom of Bucky’s top for him to do the same.

And then Steve’s making his way down Bucky’s body and mouthing at him through his pants, and the image of Steve with his golden hair and blue eyes too big for his slender face pressing hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses to his still covered cock gets him hard embarrassingly quickly.

Everything happens quickly after that and all plans Bucky had been formulating to hold Steve close and kiss him gently and lovingly over every part of his body, showing him just how gorgeous and perfect he finds him like this, go straight out the window as the blond pulls his dick free and sucks him down as far as he can now his gag reflex has returned.  
Bucky barely has time to get used to the feeling before Steve is circling a finger round his hole, his intention clear. He looks down to find the blond raising an eyebrow at him and fucking _smirking_ round his cock. And he would tell Steve he’s being a little asshole, or think of something witty to say, but Steve’s pressing against his hole and sucking hard at his dick one last time before he pulls off and growls “lube” in his Captain America voice, and it’s all Bucky can do to reach blindly into the bedside drawer and grab for the bottle they keep there.

Steve’s fingers are much more slender than they were post-serum so it doesn’t take long before he’s got three inside him, and Bucky’s glad because he’s honestly not sure how long he can last. He’d forgotten just how much of a turn-on having Steve, small dainty Steve who looks like the most innocent butter-wouldn’t-melt good Catholic boy, setting the pace and calling the shots in the bedroom like he was fucking made for it is.

Bucky’d gotten used to Steve’s large body and enhanced strength being put to good use in their bed, and it was hot as hell to be reminded that this _power_ that Steve has over him isn’t something that came with the serum, but something he’s always been able to command.

By the time Steve’s pressing his dick against his entrance, Bucky’s wrecked. He’s got his left hand gripping the headboard (and thank god that Stark had provided them with a reinforced bedframe once he’d worked out they were together), and his right grasping for Steve, and he wants to close his eyes and just _feel_ , but he also wants to watch as Steve fucks into him, and then he forgets to make a choice because Steve’s pushing into him and wrapping and hand around his dick, and all he can do is cry out in pleasure and buck up into Steve’s fist.

Too quickly, Steve releases his grip on Bucky’s cock and instead grabs his hips with both hands. The blond cuts off his protesting groan with an order. “No touching yourself, and no coming yet, okay?”

Steve, minus the stamina-improving serum and plus his asthmatic lungs, is managing to sound only slightly out of breath, while Bucky feels like his whole body is on fire. Steve doesn’t sound anywhere near as wrecked as Bucky feels and that just isn’t fair. But Bucky nods anyway, because he isn’t capable of not giving Steve what he wants – especially not when it’s exactly what Bucky wants too.

And then Steve’s thrusting into him and it’s not as hard or fast as it is when he has the serum flowing through his veins, but it really _really_ doesn’t matter to Bucky right now, because he’s pretty sure he’s in heaven.

He reaches again for Steve, and pulls him to his chest, moving with him as he thrusts and gasping into Steve’s ear. When Steve’s movements start to grow quicker and more desperate, Bucky knows he’s close and clenches around him, pushing Steve over the edge as he bites down hard on Bucky’s shoulder to muffle his moan.

Steve collapses onto him as his arms give out following his orgasm, and Bucky relishes in the way Steve’s small figure fits against his chest. 

After a while, though, he shifts uncomfortably. He’s still painfully hard, and his shoulder is starting to hurt. He half expects Steve to be asleep, but when he nudges him gently, the blond gives him a self-satisfied smirk.

“What?”

Steve inclines his head to Bucky’s shoulder in response. “Said I can still bite hard like this.”

Bucky glances down to see a red crescent-like shape beginning to form on his shoulder and shoves the smaller man off him incredulously. He’d completely forgotten about his remark from earlier, but of course Steve, the stubborn sneaky bastard who always has something to prove, hadn’t.

“That why you didn’t let me come too?”

Steve smirks back at him. “Maybe. Or maybe it's cause I wanna ride you.”

As much as Bucky likes that idea – and, _Christ_ he likes it – he’s not sure Steve’s thought this through. 

“You don’t have the super-soldier refractory period anymore, doll. Think you’re out for the count.”

Steve raises a challenging eyebrow. “Buck, I don’t know how long I’m gonna be like this. Bruce might’ve developed a solution overnight for all we know, and by lunch I'll be big again. So, before then, I’m sure as hell gonna get reacquainted with how it feels to have you fuck me in this body.”

Bucky finds he can’t argue with that logic. And, even if he could, his dick absolutely can't.

Steve rides him slowly because he's too tired for anything quicker, but Bucky likes that just fine. It means he has time to shower Steve with praise and kiss him everywhere he can reach as he tells him just how gorgeous he is, like he'd intended.

When Bucky comes it's with one hand on Steve’s hip and the other grasping Steve's fingers as he watches the blond move slowly above him, the morning sunlight glinting off his sweat-slicked hair, and Bucky tries to commit as much of this moment to memory as he can.

Because, yeah, he loves Steve no matter what he looks like, but he’s damn grateful to get a second chance at appreciating Steve like this, as he was the first time they made love.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Comments are always appreciated <3


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